I have good intentions, I have for the better part of my life. But the problem is, I have a hard time seeing them through. Some days I feel like a complete failure because of this. I honestly feel like when I die, I will be known as the girl (okay, woman) with the best of intentions BUT... fill in the blanks.
I have to change my success to failure ratio. But from where I'm sitting (imagine a small apartment with crumbs, toys, dishes, other misc clutter and a decent supply of convenience snacks in the cabinet), it seems close to impossible. Do I get stuck because it's truly overwhelming or is it because making homemade mac and cheese instead of grabbing a box (albeit a well researched better than big brand box) half the time or keeping the sink empty and the laundry kept up is just not me? I ponder this every day. One of the few things that keeps me from losing all hope is I know I can't be alone on this.
As mothers, we strive for perfection where there really can't be any. I read a good amount of parenting blogs and food blogs that make it appear that perfection IS a possibility. Come on people, give me a break. But I guess that's why I started Medium Food Mama to begin with. And I suppose this is where I need to focus and continue to help myself and others be okay with giving the kids a Trader Joe's trail mix bar instead of a homemade one every now and then because it was cheaper and less time consuming and occasionally letting the house get to the point it looks like robbers ransacked it (this will be my excuse if someone shows up unexpectedly today by the way). But sometimes I still ask, are these things a reflection of who I really am and are my good intentions worthless? Ugh.
Well now that I've gotten that off my chest, I think I can move forward. My good intentions this week are to make a yummy meatloaf that will make me smile when the kiddos gobble it up, this fennel side dish, a couple quick breads and homemade graham crackers to hand the kids for snack in place of that convenience bar I mentioned earlier, keep the dishes under control, do some laundry and maybe get to the much needed shampooing of the rug. And a few other things of course but you get the picture. Here's to a good week. Deep breath. Fingers crossed.